The Bizarre Saga: Skyward Sword
by BlueLakeKylie
Summary: An ancient legend, recently rediscovered, tells a tale of a people that lived in a city in the sky. When a sudden evil rose against them, a group of teenaged heroes were chosen by fate to put a stop to it. There was also that blue thing that never stops talking, and that one guy with the spike on his head… yeah, actually, this tale is much more unique than one might assume.
1. Into a New Time

**IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE! (headdesk) GAWDESSES**

**Welcome my lovely humans. Welcome to The Bizarre Saga: Skyward Sword. This. Freaking. Story.**

**Yes, it is another sequel! HOWEVER! Once again, it is ****not COMPLETELY necessary**** for you to read previous stories in order to read this one, due to the fact that it leaps into the past early in the story and tells it right from there. But the Twilight Princess one is actually pretty important in the full series. Since Skyward Sword doesn't follow the 'main' team, you don't have to read Twilight Princess for it; but for the rest of the series, it's important.**

**Basically, the beginning of the story is a 'sequel' to Twilight Princess, but it quickly switches to a prequel a little ways in. It'll make more sense once you read it.**

**VV~Some character info~VV (for new people, even though the main team is hardly relevant in this story)**

Link: He's notorious for being stupid sometimes, but now he's more teenager-stupid rather than insane-child-stupid. That was a thing, once upon a time.

Saria: Main heroine, who is notorious for having an extremely bad temper. In the early days of this story, she acted like a psychopath. Now she's a little bit more normal, and is Link's girlfriend. Yep, it's official now.

Navi: The fairy that never left, and is basically the one who tries to make sense of everything. She's the thinker for the team and is actually quite intelligent. She does have a little problem with impatience, but that's beside the point.

Nathan: An OC of mine who was added to the team in the last story. His background is shrouded in mystery because I haven't revealed it (yet), and all you guys pretty much know about him right now is that he's half Hylian and half fire demon, he has a tendency to act sort of like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, and that Drake was his childhood friend.

Drake: A more minor character (and an OC) who randomly showed up to give the team sandwiches. He is an ice mage who somehow managed to overcome the fourth wall and become my assistant, aka I've gone completely insane.

**That's all I feel is worth mentioning.**

**I. DON'T. OWN. ZELDAAAAAA!**

* * *

><p>The Bizarre Saga: Skyward Sword<br>Chapter 1: Into a New Time

One regular, boring day for the heroes, Saria decided that she would explore the Lost Woods. Since they managed to come across Termina a few years earlier after she had sworn she explored the woods to the edge, she thought more things were to be located within. Besides, she had nothing better to do.

After a few days, one day Nathan decided to come with her, and she slipped down a completely invisible hole (AGAIN), to see an ancient door that looked like it had been there for ages within a small cavern. On closer inspection, there was a sign next to it that read "Deepwood Library" in letters that were carved rather than written.

"What the heck is a library doing here of all places?" Saria wondered. Nathan slid down the hole behind her, accidentally crashing into her and sending them both crashing through the door that broke when they hit it. "Ow…"

Nate jumped up immediately. "Sorry about that!" he apologized. He looked around and saw all the dusty bookshelves all over the place, packed with books. The walls were all made of stone and the floor was wood. "Why is this all underground…?"

When Saria stood up, she took out the lantern she had brought with her and looked all over the place, seeing empty lanterns hanging low, disorganized books, both small and large.

After a bit of searching, Saria, being the kind of person that she is, ended up finding false bunch of stones in the floor, with a ladder leading down to a supposedly hidden basement that looked like it hadn't been entered in an even longer time than the library itself.

There was little in the basement, with the exception of a giant book on a stand. The cover was too dusty to make out what it looked like, so out of curiosity, Saria brushed all the dust off the cover to find a simple writing on the cover saying "The True Legend of the Sword".

"Hey, Nathan! Get down here!" Saria called. Within seconds, Nathan had zoomed down the ladder, because if Saria called _him_, it was important. "Come see this thing, it looks mildly interesting."

Nathan raised an eyebrow and walked over. They opened up to the first page…

_This is a tale that you humans have passed  
><em>_down through uncounted generations…_

_It tells of a war of unmatched scale and ferocity,  
><em>_the likes of which would never be seen again._

_One dark, fateful day, the earth cracked wide and  
><em>_malevolent forces rushed forth from the fissure._

_They mounted a brutal assault upon the surface  
><em>_people, driving the land into deep despair…_

_They burnt forests to ash, choked the land's sweet  
><em>_springs, and murdered without hesitation._

_They did all this in their lust to take the ultimate __power protected  
>by Her Grace, the goddess. <em>_The power she guarded was without equal._

_Handed down by the gods of old, this power gave its  
><em>_holder the means to make any desire a reality._

_Such was the might of the ultimate power that  
><em>_the old ones placed it in the care of the goddess._

_To prevent this great power from falling into  
><em>_the hands of the evil swarming the lands…_

_the goddess gathered the surviving humans  
><em>_on an outcropping of earth._

_She sent it skyward, beyond the reach of the __demonic hordes.  
><em>_Beyond even the clouds._

_With the humans safe, the goddess joined forces with the land dwellers and fought  
>the evil forces, sealing them away. <em>_At last, peace was restored to the surface._

_This is a tale that you humans have told for  
><em>_many ages, generation to generation…_

_But there are other legends, long hidden away from  
><em>_memory, that are intertwined with this tale._

_Now, a new legend bound to this great story  
><em>_stands ready to be revealed._

_… And it might not be exactly what you expect._

"Not what we expect…?" Nathan repeated, slightly confused. "What's that supposed to mean…? There's no author written, either. Who wrote this?"

"I'm starting to wonder what exactly this place is," Saria stated. She picked up the giant book. "C'mon Nate, we're getting out of here. I'd rather read this in the comfort of my own home rather than in an area where a spider could drop on my head any second."

* * *

><p>"What <em>is <em>that?" Link asked, entering Saria's house, spotting the giant book lying on a table. "That's the most ginormous book I have ever seen in my life."

"I think it's a forgotten legend," Saria explained. "If a book interests me, there's definitely something up. Especially since I found it in a hidden ancient library in a _hidden basement_."

"Saria thinks we should all read it together," Nathan stated. "For whatever reason."

Which they did. When all four of them had gathered at the table, they opened up the book, and began reading it…

* * *

><p><em>"It's so dark…"<em>

_"I see a creepy blue thing floating in front of me…"_

_"And now there's a FREAKING HUGE DINOSAUR WITHOUT EYES…"_

_"Please stay away please stay away please- Huh? What the…"_

_"SQUUUUAAAWWWWK!"_

_"AUUUUUGH!"_

CRASH.

"Ow…" a blonde teenaged boy muttered, having fallen off his bed from the dream. "I just _had _to land on the stone floor rather than the carpet…" He turned around to see the same giant blue bird that just appeared in his nightmare, sticking its head through the window of his room.

"You have mail!" the bird squawked, apparently having the ability to speak. It began to spit letters at the boy like bullets. Forty letters later, it slammed the window shut.

Now, there was a pile of letters surrounding the boy. He sat up, barely having caught what just happened, when the bird opened the window again and spat one last letter onto his head.

The blonde examined the last letter, noticing that it was inside a pink envelope, indicating that it was a certain girl who sent it. "Why did Zelda send me a letter if we live in the same building…?" he wondered, tearing open the envelope.

_"Link! Are you sleeping in late AGAIN? It's the Wing Ceremony today, and I've been waiting at the statue for you for quite some time now! I hope my bird invaded your dreams and spat this letter onto your head like I asked him to, because otherwise, you probably wouldn't wake up!  
><em>_-Zelda"_

"Well crap…" Link mumbled, realizing it was _way _later than he thought it was.

This building he was living in was known as the Knight Academy, on a floating island in the sky known as Skyloft. Actually, it was the only academy on the entire island, which was entirely a town, and it was basically a college on top of that.

For some unexplained reason, Link was sleeping in his regular clothes, and didn't need to take a shower because video games. He came outside as quickly as possible, because an impatient Zelda wasn't a good Zelda.

"Good morning, Link!" a random man greeted, standing right above the exit Link just came out of, which was near another entrance to the school. "I'm going to tell you how to run up walls because that's a new mechanic in this game!"

"I'm sorry, what?" Link asked, not yet being able to break the fourth wall.

The man went on, only confusing Link more. "By holding the A button, you can sprint for some time and then hop up walls, because for some reason, you're automatically incredibly athletic! You can also press Z on the Nunchuk to target!"

"Um, if you'll excuse me, I need to go see Zelda…"

"Now, try running up that box over there, because otherwise, you can't get up here! Hahaha!"

So apparently, Link _was _able to hop up walls like the man said, and he needed to go up there anyway in order to reach the spot where Zelda was waiting, which was exactly what he did after getting up there. The man _did _ask him to go find the headmaster's pet after Link got up there, but he really didn't have time for that.

At the goddess statue, Link walked in to see Zelda in a dress she'd never worn before, playing an unfamiliar instrument while singing a beautiful song. She noticed he was there and turned to face him.

"Hey! Good morning, Link!" she exclaimed. "I'm glad to see my Loftwing got you out of bed this morning, because I was pretty sure you'd sleep in again."

Link nodded slowly, still thinking about how he wanted to get more sleep.

"But look at this instrument!" Zelda held out the musical instrument she had been playing the song on. "And this outfit! Aren't they beautiful? They're mine to use today since I'll be playing the role of the goddess for the ceremony!"

"U-um…" Link paused, turning a little red. "Yeah, you look great."

"Are you wondering what this is?" Zelda asked him, brushing her finger along the strings her instrument. "Father told me it's called a harp. He said it's just like the one the goddess was said to have in the legends! And these clothes! I made the wrap myself, and we get to use it in the ceremony! Between this harp and this outfit, I think I'll make a great goddess today! I got you up early this morning because I wanted you to be the first to see me like this, Link!"

"… Early?" Link asked, raising an eyebrow. "Didn't your letter say that I was sleeping late again?"

"I made that up," she admitted. "Otherwise you'd probably just fall back asleep again."

"Ah, Zelda! There you are!" a relatively old man exclaimed, entering the area. He was the headmaster of the school. "Are you all prepared for today's ceremony?"

"Oh, hello, Father," Zelda greeted. "Yeah, I am."

"Ah, Link, you're here too. Outstanding." That _almost _sounded sarcastic… "It's great to see you up so early, given your capacity for sleep. No doubt today's ceremony had to too excited for you to sleep!"

"Actually…" Link started, but Zelda nudged him.

"If you win today's race, you'll get to participate in the post-race ritual with Zelda, so give it your best out there!"

"Uh, about that…" Zelda started, "Father, I don't know if he can do it. Recently Link hasn't been practicing much at all for the ceremony!"

"You have no faith in me," Link mumbled, frowning.

"And even when he's out riding his Loftwing, he's just lazily gliding around. Probably daydreaming! I don't know what he's thinking. He's going to have to be in perfect control of his bird to win today!"

"You could've phrased that differently…" Clearly, Link was pretty hurt by Zelda's choice of words in that last sentence.

"No need to worry yourself, Zelda," the headmaster spoke. "Though you may have a point. Today's Wing Ceremony tests the skills of the rider as well as his bond to his bird. Victory will not come easily. And, as you pointed out, I haven't seen him… practicing very hard."

Link went to go sulk in a corner.

"Hey, Link!" Zelda called, dragging him back by the collar of his shirt. "I might be calling you terrible at this, but I want you to win, because if you don't, Groose probably will! And you know how much I hate him!"

"Zelda…" the headmaster started again, "You have known Link since you were both very little. You should know better than to fret about him! You see, Link and his Loftwing share a special connection. I've never seen anything quite like it."

"Partners in laziness!" Link stated, still sitting on the ground from being dragged back.

"As you know, Zelda, each of us in Skyloft is but one half of a pair. We are only made whole by our Loftwings, the guardian birds that the goddess bestows upon each of us as a symbol of her divine protection."

"How many long words are you going to use before I can go back to bed?" Zelda smacked him.

"When we are young, every one of us meets our Loftwing under this great statue. It's quite a big moment, as I'm sure you recall."

"Seriously, why are you repeating everything we already know?" Link asked, getting pretty bored.

"Ahh, but that first meeting between Link and his Loftwing was extraordinary. The bird that came to him was a Crimson Loftwing. It is a breed so rare we were sure for some time that it had vanished from the line."

"Yeah, so I got a supposedly extinct bird that looks exactly like the rest of them except red. _I know that already_. I need to participate in the race, I need to win so Groose doesn't, me and Zelda do some kind of ritual, and bam, I get a lot of glory. I get it already!"

"All right then! He gets the idea!" Zelda said, clapping her hands. "Listen, Link, you better fly your heart out today. You need to get a some practice before the race! Come on! You'll thank me later!"

A little while later, Zelda had dragged him over to a dock over the endless sky. "Here we are!" she stated, pushing him up to the edge. "Go on now, jump off the edge and call your Loftwing! It's almost time for the race, so you need to practice now!"

"But… my bird isn't out there! _I can't sense him out there_!" Link insisted, struggling to stay on his feet.

"Can't _sense _him?" Zelda crossed her arms. "Yeah right! You're just trying to get out of having to practice! Nice try, but you're not fooling me. Off you go!"

"No! Our bond is so strong we can sense each other's presence- AHH!" Too late. Zelda had pushed him off.

"NOW CALL YOUR LOFTWING USING D-PAD DOWN!"

Link started whistling loudly to get his Loftwing to come. Normally, a Loftwing would come immediately, but he still hadn't come after a few seconds.

"He sure is taking a while to get here…" Zelda spoke, watching Link fall. "Oh, crud! Something's wrong! Hang in there, Link!" She called her own bird and leaped off to go save him, the bird picking him up in its talons and flying back to land, but the bird ended up hurting itself in the process. "Are you two okay?" She went over to her injured bird. "I'm sorry, Clarence. I didn't mean to push you so hard. You didn't sprain your wing, did you?"

"Hey, what about me…?" Link asked, sitting up.

"What could've possibly happened to your Loftwing? For a bird to ignore the call of his master… that's just crazy! This is kind of a problem, since the ceremony going to start soon… Link, sorry I didn't believe you when you said you're Loftwing wasn't there. I need to tend to Clarence, so I'll catch up with you later. You better go find your bird!"

Link suddenly made a face of realization, which turned into suspicion. "And I think I know exactly where I should go first…"

* * *

><p>In the town square, where the ceremony was to be held, there were three guys. One of them was ridiculously buff and had red hair with a point on his head, another was very short with blue hair, and the last one was tall and skinny.<p>

Link had decided to go blame the buff guy-Groose-for the disappearance of his bird. When he arrived there, though, Groose was having a 'conversation' with a girl, who had long, dark green hair. He recognized her as being in the same class as him, but wasn't particularly close with her.

"DON'T SCREW AROUND!" the girl screamed, taking a step towards Groose. "I _know _it was you, why else would I FREAKING SEE IT?!"

Groose sweat-dropped. "H-hey, I don't really wanna fight right now…" he started, but was cut off by her.

"HA! _Sure _you don't! If you didn't, then you wouldn't have locked up my FRICKING BIRD!" She threw a roundhouse kick right to his side, knocking him off balance.

The most hilarious thing about this was that she wasn't even up to his shoulder in height.

"And that's not _all_," the girl said, walking towards him, making him back away while holding his side in pain. "You locked up _Link's _bird too, because I know I saw a Crimson Loftwing over there!"

"AH HA!" Link exclaimed, suddenly bringing everyone's attention towards him. "I knew it was you!"

"C-come on, man!" Groose stammered, his hands in front of him. "There's no way I would do that! You gotta have some faith in me, this girl is just spouting nonsense!"

"Shut up, spikehead! I have solid evidence!" the girl shouted, pointing to her head. "MY MEMORY!"

"That doesn't count as evidence!" This made the green-haired girl growl at him. "But seriously man, I would never do something like that!"

"Yeah, and my hair turns purple when I think about the one that I love," Link said sarcastically.

"Quickly, minions! Their guard is down!" Groose stated. "MAKE A RUN FOR IT!" He and the other two guys ran towards a sky dock and jumped onto their birds.

"COWARD!" the girl shouted, waving her fist in the air as they flew away. "COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!"

Link put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't get me wrong, I want to set his hair on fire too, but that's enough…" he spoke. "… Sali."

"Tch," she spat, picking up a rock. "That guy ticks me off so much. How come he hasn't been expelled yet?" She threw the rock at the escaping birds, barely missing. Actually, she didn't _miss_, Groose just avoided it. "_Now _what am I supposed to do? My bird is gone!"

Suddenly, Zelda appeared right next to them, scaring them. "Hey, any luck finding your bird, Link?" she asked. "I overheard that conversation. So Groose probably had something to do with the disappearance, right?"

"_Something_? More like everything," Sali said. "I saw it myself. He was dragging _my _Alpha Seven into the cave by the waterfall, all tied up! And then his stupid minions were bringing Link's Loftwing in there, too! I was going to go in there, but I don't have a weapon!"

"Wow. That gave quite a bit of information," Link stated. "And the chances of this chick lying about something like this isn't very likely." He got a smack on the back of the head from Sali.

"_Don't call me 'chick'_," she said threateningly. "We're going to the sparring hall. And you're coming with me, because there's no way in Din's lair I'm saving both our birds by myself."

"… Din's lair…?" Link and Zelda asked confusingly.

Sali shook her head. "Just… never mind."

* * *

><p>Later at the sparring hall…<p>

Link and Sali peeked up through a window, looking into the building. "Okay…" Sali spoke, "they keep the weapons in the back. We're going to sneak in there and make off with the swords without the instructor noticing us."

"Why?" Link asked. "Can't we just ask for them?"

"Unacceptable! Penalty!" She smacked him in the head again. "If we just ask for swords and explain everything, he'll want to test us, and not only will take away precious time, but I don't want my self-invented sword skills to be judged! Now, for my plan!"

A guy in a yellow tunic walked up behind them. "Uh, what are you guys doing?" he asked.

"Quiet, Pipit! You're interrupting! Penalty!" She smacked him in the head. "One does not interrupt while I am talking to somebody of important matters!"

Pipit decided that it would be best if he just left rather than saying anything.

"Anyway…" Sali looked back at Link. "My plan is that you will climb in through this window and walk to the back room, making the instructor _think _you're stealing a sword, and then you distract him while I steal them instead!"

But, Link had already left and was inside the building, talking to the instructor about their predicament.

"Dang it Link…" Sali grumbled. "Screwing up my plans…"

"I get the situation, Link," the instructor said. "So you and Sali need swords so you can go look for your Loftwings inside the waterfall cave since Groose hid them in there?"

Link nodded. "Yeah. Sali said so herself, and you know that she wouldn't lie if her bird was kidnapped," he spoke.

"Where is Sali, anyway?"

"I'm here…" she muttered, coming through the front door. "Link completely ruined what could've _at least _been a dramatic entrance."

"But, I need to make sure you're good enough before you take them out of the sparring hall. I understand you have little time, but it's completely necessary, since only knights are supposed to carry swords around, and I don't want you swinging that thing around like a maniac. I don't want to get in a ton of trouble."

"So what are you going to make us do?" Sali asked, crossing her arms. "Cut all these logs to bits? Cuz that's kind of easy."

"Oh, but that's very important," the instructor told her. "This Zelda game has Wii Motion Plus, meaning that your sword strikes will follow your Wii Remote, unlike Twilight Princess. You need to get used to it."

Link and Sali stared, having no idea what he just said.

"I'm going to pretend he didn't say that," Sali stated. She walked around to the back and grabbed two swords, tossing one to Link when she came back. "Log hacking time!"

**_Link and Sali got swords!_**

Link and Sali took one side of logs each. They all had a 'weak point' on different areas and angles, so the slash needed to be going in a specific direction in order for the log to break. While Link was cutting through the second one, he looked over his shoulder to see Sali _already finished_, standing in an epic position with her sword as if she just slashed straight through the last log.

"Done," she said, sheathing her sword that was now strapped on her back. "Eh? Link? You're not done yet? Hurry up and finish!"

Link turned around and finished the job, having no idea how Sali managed to finish that quickly. Was she really fast, or was he just going slower than he thought he was…?

"Good gravy, that was fast!" the instructor exclaimed. "That's the fastest I've ever seen anyone go down a row!"

… She was really fast.

"Well, now that you both have finished, I trust you with the swords," the instructor told them. "But only use it when it's _completely_ necessary!"

"Kay thanks bye!" Sali said, racing out the door with her newly-obtained weapon. Link sighed and walked after her.

* * *

><p>"Do not enter cave…" Sali read the sign at the entrance to the waterfall cave. "Ha. Screw you." She cut the sign down with her weapon.<p>

"Sali, that's kind of wasting wood," Link told her.

"Don't worry, it'll just respawn." She put her sword away again. "That's the best thing about signs. Now, march! We don't have much time left!"

So the brave duo stepped into the cave, only to find that their enemies were jelly blobs and bats. The strangest thing was that when the critters were defeated, they turned black and left a puff of smoke shaped like a skull before disappearing.

It was only a few minutes before they reached the other side of the cave, seeing their Loftwings trapped inside two holes in the wall, behind fences. It looked like they had broken free of the ropes, but couldn't get out.

"Don't worry, Alpha Seven!" Sali told her bird, which was the purple Loftwing of the two. "I'll get you out of there!" She ran over to the fence and cut the ropes holding the fences up. Link did the same for his, and the birds were free! Speaking of birds, Zelda flew in on hers.

"You found your Loftwings!" she exclaimed, landing. "I had just realized I hadn't looked back here yet, but looks like you were here already. We should hurry to the ceremony…" She looked out to the sky. "Hey… Before you guys go, I have to ask you something. I… heard this voice a few moments ago. Did either of you hear it, too?"

Link and Sali shook their heads simultaneously.

"It's strange. I've been getting the strangest feeling lately…" Zelda spoke. "It's like something is… calling out to me." Link looked at her curiously. "Have you ever wondered what's beneath the clouds? Some say there's nothing there, or a barren place, but I have a feeling they're wrong. I was looking around Father's old books and they talk about a place called the surface, under the clouds of Skyloft. Nobody's ever been there, though, and our Loftwings won't fly down there…"

"A place bigger than Skyloft?" Sali asked, raising an eyebrow. "Skyloft isn't very big. That would be a nice place to look around."

"I can't help imagining the wild things that might be waiting below. Someday, I want to see it for myself." Zelda paused. "Oh, sorry, guys. We don't have time to talk! We should go. See? Your birds are waiting for you!"

Since their birds were right there, the two of them climbed on right then and took off. Sali looked a little spaced out from what Zelda was talking about, but came back to reality when her bird noticed and squawked at her. If only cars did that…

* * *

><p>"Your attention, please!" an instructor called at the town square. All of the students at the Knight Academy that weren't seniors were there. "At last we are ready to begin the Wing Ceremony. I was beginning to worry that we'd have to proceed without Link and Sali, but that luckily is no longer a concern."<p>

Groose looked ridiculously shocked. Sali noticed this. "Case closed," she whispered to Link, making Groose stand straight again and pretend nothing had happened.

The instructor explained the rules of the game. What they were to do was to fly on their Loftwings and try to catch the Loftwing that was flying around with a statuette in its talons. They needed to take the statue, and the first one to get it would win. On top of that, the winner would be allowed to graduate to the next class of the academy instantly, and receive a gift from Zelda. This made some of the men's motivation skyrocket.

"I don't plan on losing, you know," Sali told Link, grinning. "I couldn't care less about that ritual, I'm winning to become a senior, because I totally deserve it. Besides, I won't be the same year as Groose anymore, meaning I won't have to go to the same class as him!"

"Same here," Link answered, smiling back. "It's on."

"Also, it is the 25th anniversary of our fine institution," the instructor told everybody. "AKA, the 25th anniversary of the Legend of Zelda. Did anybody else get that?" All of the students looked confused. "I'm talking to the readers." The students became even more confused.

And so the race began. All of the students leapt off the sky dock and called their birds, starting the competition. The Loftwing carrying the statuette got a head start, requiring that all of the students needed complete control of their bird, otherwise they wouldn't even have a chance of catching it.

Link was _just _about to catch it after some time, but then Groose flew right into him on purpose, letting the bird get away. "Hey, what was that supposed to be, you cheapo?!" Link shouted at him. Groose responded with maniacal laughter as he flew off.

By this point, Groose's minions apparently brought out their strategy to have Groose win, which was to throw _EGGS _at all opposition. Not really eggs, more like _grenades _in the shape of eggs, because whenever anybody got hit by one, the egg seemed to explode.

Sali was swooping down to reach for the statuette, when suddenly another girl with blue hair on a black Loftwing came spiraling in at an incredible speed and reached for it instead, but then ended up missing. It _did _mess Sali up, though. Both of them ended up missing it. "Dang it!" the other girl exclaimed. "Epic failure!" Link and Sali both recognized her, though, since she was also in their class.

So, Link and Sali were having this dramatic moment a few minutes later, where they were both just inches away from the statuette, reaching for it in a dangerous position on their birds, when suddenly they both grabbed it at the same time and the Loftwing let go… but then it slipped out of both their hands because neither of them had a good grip on it.

Sali stared as she reached for it as it fell. "CRAP!" she swore, but then lost balance and fell right off her Loftwing. "ALPHA!" She called her bird as she fell, who caught her _just before _she was about to fall right through the clouds.

"What about the statuette?" Link asked, looking around intently for it. He looked and saw the same girl who was on the black Loftwing holding it, even _closer _to the clouds, as if she had just caught it.

"Safe!" she stated, holding it up as she and Sali flew back up to a safe altitude.

Groose looked completely defeated. The statuette had been in the hands of three different people in this one minute and none of them had been him. While everybody was flying back to Skyloft, he seemed to be utterly depressed.

"Well, that was an interesting situation," the instructor stated. Girl 2 had been the one to fly back with the statuette, but he had been flying out there too, and knew exactly what had happened. "I'm not sure what to do about this."

"If anything…" Sali started, "make Link do the ritual thing with Zelda, since he's a guy and I'm sure as Din's lair he wants do to it, whether he knows it or not."

"Seriously, what's with the Din's lair thing?" Link asked her.

"Link and Sali here grabbed the statuette at the same time," Girl 2 said, "And I grabbed it just before it fell through the clouds. I dunno how we're gonna settle this."

"Hmm…" the instructor pondered, "I suppose the three of you are great, honest students. Unlike _somebody _who attends the third-year class…" He eyed Groose for a moment. "Perhaps we could have all three of you become seniors…" Link's, Sali's and the other girl's eyes lit up in excitement. On the contrast, Groose was completely horrified. "I will go talk to the headmaster about it."

"Now go do your ritual thingamajig already," Girl 2 told Link, spinning him around and giving him a push in the direction of the giant goddess statue.

* * *

><p>Link entered the grounds of the statue, holding the bird statuette Girl 2 had given him earlier. He noticed that Zelda was actually standing way up on a platform on the statue rather than on the ground, so he needed to call over his Loftwing to take him up there.<p>

"Hehe," Zelda giggled at he landed in front of her. "Congratulations on winning, Link."

"Actually…" Link started, "I didn't really _win_. It was a pretty complicated situation involving Sali and that other blue-haired girl I can't remember the name of. Neither of them wanted to do the ritual, so they just sent me over here."

Zelda nodded. "Makes sense. Now, we better get on with the ceremony!"

Little did they know, Sali and Girl 2 were actually peeking into the area to see what the ritual actually was. Only the winners of the ceremony knew what happened there, and they spoke not a word of it.

"Hand me the statuette from the race, Link. I must offer it to the goddess," Zelda spoke. Link handed her the bird statuette, which she placed into a certain part of the goddess statue. "Great goddess, guiding light and protector of our people, grant us your blessing and mercy as I act in your stead during this ceremony…"

_"Valiant youth who grasped victory at the celebration of the bird folk… In accordance with the old ways… I now bestow the blessings of the goddess upon you. The blessing of the goddess drift down from the heavens aloft a sail, which I now pass on to you."_

**_Link got the Sailcloth!_**

"You know…" Zelda started, "They say that the goddess gave the Sailcloth to her chosen hero long ago. Of course, the one you're holding isn't the same one. I've been working hard to finish making this Sailcloth in time to give it to today's champion. I'm really glad I got to give it to you and not Groose, Link. Make sure you take care of it, okay?" Suddenly she took a step up towards Link, which was a little _too _close… "Now, we should really finish up this ritual…"

"Oh my Din," Sali muttered, staring at the scene before them. The other girl was covering her mouth to keep herself from making any noise.

"You… _do_ know what happens at the end, right?" Zelda asked Link.

"Uh… not really," he replied awkwardly.

"Really? Huh. I guess that kind of makes sense, though, considering nobody ever says anything about it…" She put her hands on his shoulders… _and spun him around_. Link and the hidden girls were CONFUSED. "You have to jump off the statue!"

"I _what_?!" Link shouted, struggling to keep his balance.

"Don't worry, you have the Sailcloth now, you can use it as a parachute. To finish the ceremony, you have to jump and land in that big circle down there! Ready to go? GO!" She pushed him right off, making Link's landing end up being sloppy, but he still landed in the circle and using the Sailcloth to land.

"Stop pushing me off ledges without warning!" Link yelled at her. Over by the entrance, Sali and Girl 2 were cracking up.

"Ritual complete!" Zelda stated. "Now, let's go flying on our Loftwings. It's such a nice day today!" She called her Loftwing to take her back down to the ground.

"That…" Sali started, "was the most hilarious ritual I have ever seen. Actually, it's the only ritual I've ever seen, but still. You were right about coming here… totally worth it! I _still _don't really remember your name, though, so…"

"Nameya," Girl 2 told her. "But that takes way too long to say, so you can just call me Nami. Got it?" Sali nodded. "Oh, crud, they're coming this way. Hide!" She and Sali dove behind a rock as Link and Zelda passed.

And that brings the end of this first, very long chapter. Everything seems to be going completely fine for everybody (except Groose), but of course…

nothing ever goes right in a Zelda game…

* * *

><p><strong>Please give feedback~<strong>

**You know, there are some things that really can't be explained directly in the story; so tell you what. I'll give you random facts in every chapter update about the story's characters so it can all make a LITTLE bit more sense. I've got a bunch of information here that I'm pretty sure only I know. Well, except maybe my brother.**

**How does that sound?**


	2. What a Wonderful World There is Below

**All right. It's explaining time.**

**Yep, I'm well aware that is has been exactly a month since the last chapter. Which is why you're getting the next one. Unfortunately, I'm not even remotely close to finishing the third chapter. My original plan was to post a chapter every time I finished the one after it, but it seems that won't work very well. I think I'll need to be under the stress that I have to finish the next chapter quickly, rather than being all like "Ah, we'll be fine! I have my back-up plan of posting the previous chapter early!" … yeah.**

**The last time I edited this chapter was literally the same day that I published this story. Meaning, I haven't been freaking writing this story since last month. What da heck, me.**

**Seriously! This is a freaking parody! How hard can it be to write?! (headdesk)**

**Also, I apologize for this as well: I forgot to give a warning that there are OCs in this story. Yeeaaaah… derp. I figured people wouldn't be bothered by it, and I was kinda stupid to figure that. I should have said something, and I apologize for that. Please try to view them as characters in a regular novel and not just random crappy original characters I tossed in the story, or else it will be extremely difficult for anybody to understand the 'development'. But gimme a break… this is a comedy! It's still the Bizarre Saga. I PLANNED A LOT FOR THIS STORY, OKAY?**

**I DON'T OWN ZELDA.**

* * *

><p>The Bizarre Saga: Skyward Sword<br>Chapter 2: What a Wonderful World There is Below

_Previously on The Bizarre Saga, the team of hereoes found a book of an old 'legend' and started reading it. Actually, just as a note, they shall be reading it at different times that aren't relevant to the story, so now this story shall be following that book._

_So, PREVIOUSLY on The Bizarre Saga, Link was pushed off two high places, Sali had mad sword skillz, Groose was being obnoxious as usual, Zelda pushed Link off two high places, and we ALMOST got through the intro of the game._

_Now for Chapter Two._

Link and Zelda had gone out to go flying on their Loftwings, as said in the last chapter. Everything was going pretty smoothly, until…

"Hey, Link…" Zelda started. "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about…" She turned her head forward and spotted… a giant, black tornado coming at them. "Holy-! Clarence, turn around!" She tried to turn her bird around, but the wind was too strong.

"No! ZELDA!" Link called at she struggled to stay on her Loftwing as she tried to fly away from the tornado. It wasn't working, however. Link was too far away from her to reach for her hand as she and her Loftwing were sucked into the fierce winds. "NOO!"

"LINK!" Zelda screamed as the powerful winds pulled her below the clouds.

She was gone.

* * *

><p>The next time Link knew, he was back in his room at the Knight Academy. Standing around him were Sali, Nameya and the headmaster, Zelda's father.<p>

"… I see you're awake, Link," the headmaster spoke. "When your Loftwing carried you back, you were limp and unconscious. I feared the worst. Fortunately, you don't appear to have any serious injuries. For that we can be grateful."

"But what happened to Zelda?" Sali asked. "Wasn't she with you?"

"Link… what happened to my daughter?" the headmaster questioned. Link looked at the ground and sighed. He explained everything that had happened. "A black tornado… That was no ordinary storm."

"I… I need to go save her!" Link said, trying to stand up, but he fell back down onto his bed again.

"Don't push yourself!" Nami told him. "You're still recovering!"

"Tell me, Link…" the headmaster started, "When you saw Zelda today, did anything about her seem… off?"

"She _was _talking about the surface earlier today," Link replied. "And I've been having really strange dreams lately about a blue spirit telling me about a 'great mission'."

"Interesting…" The headmaster sighed. "I'm sorry. I was lost there for a moment. It's all very strange, but I doubt there's any type of connection between these things. I'm concerned for Zelda, but she does have her Loftwing with her, so I'm sure she'll be fine."

"It's pretty late now," Sali spoke. "You were unconscious for a while. I don't think it would be easy to find Zelda this late at night. You should get some more rest."

"Zelda's gonna be fine," Nami reassured him. "She's strong, and she won't go down easily! I'm sure of it!"

Link was still worried about her, though. The other three left the room, and he tried to get back to sleep, even though he wasn't feeling tired in the slightest.

Hours passed.

_Link…_

Link immediately shot awake, having heard an unfamiliar voice call out his name. There wasn't anybody in his room, so he opened up his door and looked outside.

Floating to his right was the very same spirit that he had been seeing in his dreams.

"Come…" the spirit spoke, floating up the stairs of the academy. Link, knowing exactly what that spirit had been doing in all of these dreams he'd been having all these nights, and figured it was something pretty important if he was actually seeing it now. Actually, he wasn't very sure whether he was dreaming or not, but he followed the spirit anyway.

She led him all the way outside and near the goddess statue. However, the gate had been closed, and he couldn't get in there, so the spirit lead him all the way around to a secret entrance in the back. When he entered the area, he spotted both Sali and her new blue-haired friend sitting nearby.

"Oh, Link…" Sali spoke, probably a little tired. "That spirit lead the two of us over here and told us to wait…"

"I thought I was the only one seeing her in my dreams," Nami said. "I guess not. When you said you were seeing her too, I was pretty surprised."

The two of them stood up as the spirit flew over to the goddess statue. Much to their surprise, a door opened up at the base, revealing a hidden cavern that she flew into. The three of them followed her into the statue.

Inside, there was a fairly large room with a sword inside a pedestal in the middle. On the far side, there was a shrine-like spot with a floating bird-shaped object in front of an indentation in the wall.

"The ones chosen by my creator…" the spirit spoke, "I have been waiting. The three of you shall play a role in a great destiny_._ According to your social customs, I should provide you with my person designation. Fi is the name I was given."

"Aw, that's pretty cute," Nami stated. "Nice to metcha, Fi." She yawned. "I'm kinda tired. Does anybody have something with sugar in it?'

"I was created for a single purpose, long before the recorded memory of your people," Fi said. "I must aid you in fulfilling the great destiny that is your burden to carry. The three of you shall carry out this destiny together."

Link blinked. He was starting to reconsider his desicion that this was another dream.

"Come, Link." Fi floated over to the sword in the center of the room. "You must take up this sword. As the hero chosen by my creator, it is your destiny. The strange dreams troubling your sleep and my sudden appearance. Uncertainty surrounding the fate of one you hold dear. Under the circumstances, it is only logical that you would exhibit some apprehension. To minimize your uncertainty, allow me to share some information. My projections indicate that this information has a high probability of altering your current emotional state."

"Too many long words…" Nami muttered, rubbing her head.

"The one you seek, honorable Zelda, is still alive."

And suddenly, Link was no longer half asleep.

"And this spirit maiden… the one you call Zelda… is another chosen one fated to be part of the same great mission. Therefore, should you wish to meet your friend, I highly recommend you take up this sword before you set out of search for her. Does this information invigorate you? Are you ready to accept this sword?" Link nodded enthusiastically. "It seems that further persuasive measures will not be required. In the name of my creator, draw the sword and raise it skyward."

Sali and Nameya watched as Link walked up to the pedestal where the sword was being held. He pulled it out of the pedestal and held it up to the light shining over it.

**_Link got the Goddess Sword!_**

"Recognition complete…" Fi started, "Master."

"Wait… what?" Link asked, staring at her. Sali and Nami had the exact same expession.

"Master, you are the hero chosen by my creator," Fi said again. She turned to face Sali and Nameya, still standing near the door. "You may be wondering what your part in this destiny is."

"Um…" Sali started, "no duh."

"Master, I ask you how I may refer to these maidens," Fi spoke, asking something, but not really putting it in question form…

"Ah, um, I don't know, their first names," Link answered, still kind of confused by all this. "Add 'miss' or something. It seems right." Sali rose an eyebrow.

"Yes, Master." This was getting pretty awkward for Link now. "Miss Sali."

"Uh, yeah?" she answered awkwardly.

"Your destiny is to fight alongside my master as a warrior," Fi told her. "Miss Nameya, you shall be the Guardian, the healer, and a magic bearer."

"WHOA!" Nami exclaimed, totally shocked. "_MAGIC_?! AWESOME!"

"Too much noise…" Sali mumbled, covering her ears.

"Master," Fi spoke, gaining their attention again. "You, Miss Sali and Miss Nameya must embark on a great journey beneath the clouds to the vast realm of the surface."

"Oh my Din…" Link exclaimed, "That conversation with Zelda earlier was _foreshadowing_."

"This will not be an easy task, however. The world below is a forsaken place, and to reach it you must piece the cloud barrier below. In living memory, no one has ever done this. This tablet will illuminate a path through the clouds to the land below. Take it, and place it within the altar behind me," Fi said.

**_Link got the Emerald Tablet!  
><em>**

Fi explained that Link had to hit the floating crest with the 'Skyward Strike', which was a beam he shot by holding his sword in the air. It would power the crest, and it would activate the tablet shard that Link placed within the indentation, causing the cloud barrier to be opened up. Link did all of this, and outside, a green beam of light shot out of the clouds, leaving a hole in the cloud barrier.

"Master Link, it is done," Fi spoke. "The tablet you placed in the altar has opened a small rift in the barrier. You can use it to travel through the clouds to the realm below."

"Ooh… cool," Nami said.

"I have recognized you as my master, and so it is my duty to follow you wherever you may go. I reside within your sword and will accompany you in your travels. Should you require my assistance, I shall be there."

"We should go back to the Knight Academy now," Sali spoke. "We need to tell the headmaster about what's going on, since it would be kind of bad if we suddenly disappeared, too. Besides, we can't fly at night…"

"Good point," Link said. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>"I see…" the headmaster spoke, having obtained all the information. "You, these two ladies and Zelda all have a great role to play in the destiny of this land… But, if what this Fi says is true, Zelda is alive! Alive and no doubt coming to terms with whatever it is the goddess has in store for her. I don't know what dangers you might have to face, though… But if you decided on it, please find my daughter and bring her back to me."<p>

"You can count on us!" Nami told him. "Come on, guys, we're a _team _now! Let's kick some butt!" Link nodded, smiling, but Sali just yawned, looking half-asleep.

"I'm so tired…" she complained. "Can I get a few hours of sleep _before _we go…?"

"Dawn is drawing near. It has been a long night, hasn't it?" the headmaster asked, making Sali feel even _more _tired because she realized how long she had been _not sleeping_. "You three have a great journey before you, and those clothes… don't really look up to the task."

"Well sorry for being in my pajamas," Sali muttered. "I was gonna change anyway…"

"We had decided to make all three of you seniors from the race. The uniforms you were to receieve should be ready by now. A sturdy uniform like that will prove much for suitable for a long journey. You should go change into them."

So, they each handed an outfit, and they all went back to their respective rooms to change into them.

After putting it on, Sali was inspecting it through her large mirror in her room. "This looks way different than what all the other uniforms look like…" Rather than being a classic tunic with long pants beneath it, it came with a long-sleeved black shirt, a dark green tunic that was cut up on the bottom sides for easier movement, black shorts, and some dark green boots with three buckles on each. Though, she was pretty glad she got it instead of a regular one.

Apparently, both Nami's and Sali's tunics were made to perfectly fit them, as Nami's wasn't the basic one either, it being blue, which had never been used as a tunic color before. The tunic had thick stitches going down the middle, as well as being sleeveless, but with detached sleeves. She had never heard of detached sleeves before, but she thought it was even cooler because of that. Her tunic also had shorts under it, as well as very basic blue boots. As she tied up her hair into a side ponytail, she, of course, was thinking about how awesome she looked.

Link's tunic was the classic, but we all know he still looks pretty darn good in it.

They all returned to the headmaster (for some reason) after they were all done changing. "Wow, Link, you look pretty good in that," Sali stated, grinning. "It's like you were meant to wear it." Nami nodded.

"Take care on your journey, you three," the headmaster told them. "You should stop by the bazaar in town and see if you can find anything you might need. I wish you the best of luck on your quest. May the goddess watch over and guide you all."

So, they confidently marched out of the room to start their journey, but a guy around Link's age stood in front of them. "I overhead every word in that room and I remember exactly what you all said," he stated.

"Yup, good to know, bye," Sali told him, shooing him. "Sorry, we're KINDA busy."

"I actually was going to give you some items that'll be very helpful on your quest," the guy spoke. He held out a few little bags. "These might now look like anything, but you can carry a certain amount of items in them, no matter what their sizes."

**_Link, Sali and Nami got Adventure Pouches!_**

"They say that they're trying to invent one that can carry infinite items, but I honestly don't think that can happen. Now, you can go out on your adventure."

And so, that aside, their journey began… with a little visit at the bazaar.

"Ugh, is there _really _anything that we're going to need here?" Sali asked, slightly annoyed. "Seriously!"

"A shield, maybe," Link told her. "That would be a good idea."

"That would be a hindrace to me. I wouldn't be able to move as fast, and it would get in the way. If anything, I want another sword in my other hand."

Meanwhile, behind them, Nami was trying to figure out if she could use magic yet. She was doing all kinds of weird things with her hands, expecting something was going to happen when she didn't even know what exactly to do.

"Nami, I think magic is more complicated than that," Sali told her, noticing. "You probably need to learn some, first."

"My current goal is to be able to spawn an awesome weapon out of thin air," Nameya randomly stated, holding her hand out. "I'll figure it out at some point, even though I know absolutely nothing about magic right now! And I'm going to be hardcore about this, too. I'm not buying ANY supplies before we leave."

"Therefore," Sali said, turning back to Link, "you shall go into the bazaar and buy yourself a shield while we wait out here. You should be glad that we're not shopping-obsessed girly-girls or something."

So Link walked into the bazaar that had stores scattered all over the place, but there wasn't much for him to do at the other shops, so he went straight over to the shop that was selling shields and bought a simple wooden one since that was the only one they had for some reason.

When he came back outside, Nami was sitting on a nearby bench kicking her legs, and Sali was walking back and forth impatiently. The next thing Link saw was the green-haired girl picking up a rock and hurling it out into the sky, _nailing_ the familiar redheaded jerkface flying out on his bird in the head.

"Seriously, girl, that aim of yours is so exact it's ridiculous," Nami told her. She turned to face Link when he stepped outside. "Oh, hey, he's back!"

"Huh, that shield…" Sali started, but Link ended up finishing her sentance.

"Is kind of crappy, isn't it?" he finished. "Yeah, it's all they had. They'll probably get something better as time passes."

"Well, he _does _look pretty heroic now," Nami stated. "The combo of the sword and shield and the boss-looking knight outfit makes him look like a real hero." She stood up from the bench. "HOWEVER! We must depart immediately towards the unexplored land below! Who knows what terrors might await us!"

"How do you even know there are going to be that many terrors in the first place?" Sali asked her.

"Cuz _otherwise_, someone would've gone down there a long time ago! Now, we shall go to the surface no matter what stands in our path!"

"Hmm…" Link thought for a moment. "That line kind of sounds like something is going to pop up on our way there trying to stop us from going there…"

* * *

><p>Surprisingly, nothing actually showed up on the way there. They all flew out to the green light shooting from the clouds on their birds and saw a giant hole in the clouds below, revealing some land below that they could barely see from that high.<p>

"No! It's perfectly safe!" Nami told her bird. "I understand that you want to stay above the clouds, but seriously! C'mon, Ebony!" Ebony, her bird, shook his head in a cartoony way. Nami did not look amused.

"How the heck are we supposed to get down there if our birds won't go below the clouds?" Sali wondered.

"Well, I have this sailcloth, but I'm pretty sure that's only going to work for me," Link pointed out. "Heck, I don't even know if it's going to work at all at a distance this high, considering how far down that looks…"

"I must learn some magic within the next two minutes in order to solve this predicament!" Nameya announced, clapping her hands together with two fingers up. Sali face palmed.

"Look, we shouldn't be having _this _much trouble with something as stupid as this…" she spoke, sighing. "If the goddess says this is our destiny, something like this should be a piece of cake to get by. I mean, we're not even out of the sky yet!"

Realizing her attempt wasn't really working, Nami suddenly had another idea. "I know what we should do! We can climb up on each others shoulders, and the person on the top can hold that sailcloth Link has-"

"CONVERSATION INTERFERENCE!" a familiar annoying voice shouted as a bird zoomed in between all of them, a powerful gust of wind knocking them _all _off their birds. All three of them knew it was Groose, but of course, they didn't have time to think about that, because they were all _falling _below the distance that their birds would fly.

"DANG IT GROOSE!" Sali screamed as her bird started panicking about whether he should come to her rescue or not. "I HOPE YOU GO TO DIN'S LAIR!"

"Quickly, team!" Nami said, flipping over and holding her hands out. "Triangle formation!" By this point, they were passing through the thick clouds and could no longer see clearly above them.

An even more concerned look rose on both Link and Sali's faces. "What will that solve?!" the boy yelled.

"I dunno, it just sounds like a good idea!" Link and Sali would've anime fallen had they not been falling through the sky.

The blue-haired girl didn't actually wait for them to do anything and just took hold of their hands, expecting them to do to the same. Instead, though, Link took out the sailcloth Zelda had given him and pulled both the girls towards him as the large trees of the surface were coming close. They understood, but the fall was barely broken, and the three of them crashed into the hard ground.

"Ugh, that could've gone better…" Sali muttered, rubbing her head in pain as she sat up. "Note to self… next time, find a better way to get to the surface and think about it _before _we go flying out…" The other two heroes were lying on the ground near her, neither of them having gotten up yet… until Nami started rolling around in the grass.

"It's so tall…" she spoke. The dark grass went past her head while she was lying down. She sat up and saw a little insect crawling along her arm. "Ooh, it's a unidentified surface bug!"

"Nami, that's a tick," Sali told her. The blue-haired girl yelped and flicked it off.

"Cursed blood-sucking insect!" she shouted, standing up and stomping on the place where she had flicked the bug off. "You dare follow us to the surface?! You must _die_!"

Sali sweat-dropped. "Um, I'm pretty sure they're just here, too…"

"Why can't I roll around in the grass in peace?!" Nami shouted at the sky.

"What are you, a Remlet?!"

Nameya made a circular motion with her hand like a cat. "Meow!" Sali rolled her eyes.

Link, being up by this point, hemmed. "_EXCUSE ME_," he said, getting their attention. "Have you even taken into account where we could actually be?! Look around!"

Starting to notice something _besides _the tall grass, the other two girls examined the new area. However, it didn't actually look _abandoned_. In fact, it looked like it was almost a man-made structure. Over in a distance was a stone temple that looked pretty ruined with a huge stone door covering what seemed to be the entrance. A fairly large path spiraled down into the center of the area, where they saw a strange spike with seemingly physical darkness coming out of it.

Fi emerged from Link's sword for the first time. "Master, according to my resources, this area is known as the Sealed Ground. That ominous object in the center of the spiral must be hit with a Skyward Strike. The reason I am explaining this to you is because the writer cannot seem to remember the method used for you to actually gain this information."

"Tch. What is this, a story?" Sali asked, crossing her arms.

"Actually…"

"Never mind, forget I asked…"

Since the cliffs of the spiraled path were way to steep to slide down, their only option was to walk _all _the way down to the center. Nameya was complaining about how that would take forever to get back up.

"Okay, we're here," Link said as they reached the bottom. Sali sat down, while Nami just crashed right into the ground.

"Finally…" she mumbled, her head in the grass.

Link held his weapon towards the sky. Power charged into it and he shot a laser at the spike. The girls watched the spike forcefully slammed into the ground, causing the ground to glow a bit.

"Master," Fi started, coming out of the sword, "Doing this has caused the large stone doors of the temple to open for unexplained reasons. I have also obtained an internal text message telling me that Miss Nameya now has the ability to dowse for objects and people."

"Wait, what?" all three team members said at the same time.

"Oh my Din!" Nami exclaimed, standing up, holding her head. "I _can _do that now for some reason! Maybe I can find Zelda…" She closed her eyes for a few seconds. When she opened them again, they were shinier and had turned from her regular grey to _completely_ violet with no pupils. "My magical locating abilities tell me that we must go all the way back up the hill and into the temple… great."

"Master, I am not aware whether you have noticed this or not, but…" Fi started, appearing again. "When you struck the spike, gusts of wind began to shoot from the ground all across the spiral."

Nami yawned, her eyes turning back to normal afterwards. "I'm still tired ya know…"

"Miss Nameya, I ask that you suck it up and do what you're supposed to," the sword spirit said.

There was a long pause.

"Um…" Nami started, not really knowing how to respond, "okay…?"

"Now, as said, proceed into the temple," Fi told them, warping back into Link's sword. The team didn't really have anything to say after what just happened, so they just used the air gusts to take them back up the hill, which was done in about five minutes.

Located inside the stone temple was _not _in fact Zelda, but was actually an old lady with a giant cloak that looked way older than a regular old lady in modern times. Oh wait, I forgot people lived way longer back then.

"Oh my Din…" Nami started. "Did Zelda become an old lady?!"

EVERYBODY else anime fell. Including Fi and the old lady.

"No, that can't be right," the blue-haired girl spoke. "Either I have to practice dowsing or Zelda is right behind that old lady."

"Information gained…" Sali spoke, holding a notepad and a pencil. "Nami is the comic relief of this adventure. And I'm pretty sure you have to practice dowsing, since this was your first time doing it."

"But there's a giant stone door behind the old lady-" Nami started, but was cut off.

"EXCUSE ME!" the old lady interrupted. "I inquire that you listen to me right at this moment, for I have important information to give you!"

"As in what?" Link asked. "Zelda's location?"

The old lady paused. "… I completely forgot my lines." Everyone else anime fell again, this time including Nami. "Just let me tell you that opening up that treasure chest over there is a good idea, and that you should venture forth into the woods in that direction." A door on their right magically opened in its own.

Sali walked over to open the treasure chest and did just that. Though, she was a little relunctant, especially since it was a weird old lady whom they just met who told them to open it.

**_Sali got the Bottle!_**

"… What the heck," she started, staring at the object. "It's a _glass bottle_. How the heck would something like this be useful?"

"Oh, but you see, young lady, it is a magic glass bottle," the old lady explained. "It can never break, and the things you put inside it never go bad or expire, and the bottle will stay clean when you use it. I've heard that putting liquids in it keeps them the temperature they're supposed to be! Just a rumor, though."

Sali turned to the other two (three counting Fi, but she really doesn't count). "I think she's senile," she said bluntly.

"C'mon Sali, as if a bunch of crazy things haven't happened already," Nami told her. "Who knows, she could be telling the truth! Besides… even if it's not a magic bottle, it _can _still be used for something."

"But it takes up a slot in my adventure pouch," Sali complained.

"Your adventure pouch that _doesn't have anything in it yet_."

"All right all right, fine, let's just go." She put the bottle in her magic adventure pouch and began to walk towards the door, past Link who had a slightly concerned look on his face.

"I have a feeling that line has a bad future ahead of it," he pointed out.

Outside, they noticed a pretty large creature (probably about twice the size of Link, but not entirely in height) off in a distance surrounded by a bunch of other red creatures about the size of Link, though these creatures looked very hostile and were carrying cleaver-like swords.

"Look, I don't have anything you'd want, leave me alone!" the large, rock-like creature insisted. "I collect _tree bark _and _moss_! Yeah, you see this bag here? All stuff that you would have no use for!"

"Grah dur hurbedur!" one of the red creatures… said? "Spladurbedur meh hir grah!"

All of the red creatures edged closer to the rock man.

Sali's heroine instincts suddenly kicked in, not thinking about whether the rock man could potentially be some evil person or not. "STOP RIGHT THERE, EVIL-LOOKING RED THINGS!" she yelled out, drawing her sword. "GET LOST OR I'LL EXTERMINATE YOU ALL!"

"You could've handled that intro better," Nami stated.

"Shut up," Sali growled. She looked back at all the monsters, who were giving her looks like they were just about ready to kill her face. "Yeah, yeah, come at me! If you dare, obviously."

"Has she ever even fought in an actual battle before?" Nami whispered to Link. "I'm guessing the answer's no… I mean, she's pretty popular for the amount of times she's gotten into fights before, but this is totally hardcore… huh?"

She and Link looked over to see several bursts of smoke where the monsters used to be, and Sali sheathing her sword casually.

"It's official," Nami started, crossing her arms and nodding. "You need a theme song and a snazzy pair of sunglasses." Sali laughed a little.

"Oh, thank you, young warrior!" the rock-like creature exclaimed. "If it wasn't for you, I think those creatures would have eaten me for dinner even though that doesn't sound possible!"

"No problem," Sali answered.

"But… today has been a little strange for me," the creature continued. "I didn't expect to run into those red pests in this peaceful forest. Actually, the same goes for you; this is the second time I've bumped into some of your kind today!"

"… Second time?" Link asked.

"Probably Zelda…" Nami told him.

"I owe you big time for helping me out. The name's Gorko the Goron," the rock-like creature said. "You see that bird statue over there?" He pointed over to a nearby statue. "According to ancient texts, there is some kind of place above called the Isle of the Goddess. Far up in the sky!"

Sali raised an eyebrow and continued to listen.

"Apparently, these old statues serve as landmarks to those traveling up to the sky or down from this Isle of the Goddess place. If you find one, you should be sure to examine it to keep tabs on the number of landmarks. They're rumored to be quite useful!"

"Uh, thanks," Sali said. "I kind of need to go now."

"It's fine if you don't believe me," Gorko said. "I just thought you should know."

Later, after climbing up a high ledge using a massive log they were somehow able to use as a platform to get themselves up…

Fi appeared out of Link's sword and began speaking, "Master, this area that you have just entered is called the Faron Woods- excuse me, Master, do not ignore me." Because all of them continued on walking even though she was floating there trying to talk to them. "You know what, forget it." She went back into the sword. FI RAGE QUIT.

"Why are there random trees growing in the middle of the path?" Nami wondered.

"Doesn't matter, I'm cutting them," Sali said, chopping the said trees down with her sword. "Look, now we can pass! It's magic already!"

"… How the heck did you just chop down several minature trees in a single slash?" Link asked her.

"Beats me."

"… Seriously?"

"Yo, Link, want me to keep looking for Zelda?" Nami questioned. The blonde boy nodded. She concentrated to pinpoint Zelda's location again. "I can sense her much deeper in the woods… like, very much deeper. If we just continue in this direction…" She paused, her violet eyes changing back to grey again. "Wait, what's that over there?"

The other two looked over in a distance to see two of those annoying red pig things tormenting something lying on its stomach. On closer inspection, it was a small creature with a plant on its back, probably for camoflauge. Though, the monsters quickly noticed them.

"Grahebedurbedur hrefy?!" one of the exclaimed. "Gregory! Plarki hur dederdee!"

The two beasts ran towards them to attack, but they had disappeared into a puff of smoke before they could even blink, thanks to Sali.

"Sali, I think you need to chill," Nami told her. "You know, before you accidentally hurt something that doesn't mean any harm."

"Nami, I know what I'm doing," Sali answered.

"Kiiiik? What happened?" the small creature the beasts had been attacking wondered, sitting up from the ground and hiding the plant on it's back inside some kind of bud. It resembled some kind of penguin. "It got quiet!'

"OH MY GOSH IT'S SO CUTE!" Nami exclaimed. The creature noticed their presence.

"KWEE!" it screamed. "THERE ARE MOOORE OUT TO GET ME! Don't hurt me, kwee-koo!" It quickly sped away and up a steep hill before leaving their sight.

"Master," Fi began, appearing. "Based on that creature's characteristics, I must conclude that it is a peaceful, forest-dwelling animal known as a Kikwi. Kikwis are intelligent beings capable of speech."

"Um… how do you even know what they're called?" Sali asked.

"I know many things. Now, I suggest that you follow that creature. It may be linked with Zelda in some way."

"… You mean she might have come in contact with it, right?" Link questioned.

"Yes."

It's not like they had any choice other to follow the creature, anyway. There was only one way to go other than the way they came from, so they had to go in the same direction.

What they didn't notice was the raven-haired man watching them from a distance.

* * *

><p><strong>By the way, there's a poll on my profile. Go check it out. That wasn't a suggestion. I command thee.<strong>


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